[spoken word] (What day is it? Wednesday 20 September 2017. I forgot to do a track again. And yeah here I am a night later doing it now. I don't even remember what happened yesterday, um. It was college, that was alright, and did music for film stuff. Now that was neat I liked that. And uh, yeah... [indecipherable]) (Thursday 22 September 2017. Truth is yesterday did have one particularly interesting attribute, namely that I went to bed at 9:15pm, sort of like what normal people do, though I still woke up at 12pm somehow so shit. Before I went to bed, my friend Nic was getting hooked on Massacre's Killing Time, which I've still not heard its entirety despite the fact its Fred Frith and early Bill Laswell on the same album, so I must get onto that at some point.) (Meanwhile today, while some guy was there to tell that the boiler would need replacing, I was there playing AnCo's underrated sensory overload by the name of Centipede Hz. Soon after that I played XTC's gorgeous Nonsuch. Not my favourite album by them but one of them. A record I can't sing my praises enough for. There's those lyrics in 'Humble Daisy': 'I'll sing about you if nobody else will'.) (And on the right day I might even draw it equal with Then She Appeared and Colin's War Dance and Bungalow.)

Stationed with myself Fantasies bribe me with innocence Sometimes I do just kept swept away On the most mundane of days And oh I drag myself back to the harsh daylight Directionless and where I have no plan How tediously dormant is time Can't you see it though? Well you live it just fine, so you ought to know Though, at once blue and grey, guess who's all alone The train that crashed ages ago With events like staccatos so sporadically placed I keep one foggy aperture right over my face Inertia ain't blissful if you exist with no trace I keep one foggy aperture, a trusty malaise It's cemented the years, long since lost count of days Years of recollection rendered merely a haze It's only logical that there's comfort in a daze When the years pass on by and don't take me on their way And it still ain't much The sea gives up its dead at the slightest touch And I still don't feel harlequin as such Wonder who's eyes meet mine first Leaks over the brim Retreating and yearning with fettered limbs Compromise might be somewhere in between So nothing that comes from within With events like staccatos so sporadically placed I have one foggy aperture right over my face Inertia ain't blissful if you exist with no trace I have one foggy aperture, a trusty malaise It's cemented the years, long since lost count of days Years of recollection rendered merely a haze It's only logical that there's comfort in a daze When the years pass on by and don't take me on their way

She scurried barefoot from the front door And with loose CDs scattered around the car floor She drove barefoot to Chippenham And then scurried back out again with the hand break undone If not quite the antipode to her silk voiced dad Her voice would still decorate any bachelor pad Every Thursday night in the Cecil Sharp suite But not tonight, not while these ends don't meet He sliced and diced all her sharp retorts As if they were byproducts of miserable thought But she thinks in forward marches, as she does as she intends The polar inverse of him, and his pissing in the wind Her currency is indulgence Allows him to compete for once Picture whomever you're after, and I will do the same as you Picture your fantasy, the things she says she's gonna do Imagine yourself an environment for you to make your mark And dramatise the inane way you recon you might win her heart Try not to straddle the line Between public and private at any time You'll be refused admission Its your own trial and error execution And now I once said to her Are we naturally this crazy? are we crazy at all? Ask those around us who have formed a circle But at least the circus, has placed interest in us At least our antics aren't useless after all I now say to her It's already a defeated objective, so why need try? My only life only had one youth and I'm waving it goodbye A gesture of failing health Is that I can't stay here myself You can be the new me Now that you have your own key Your dad runs the cabaret lounge And he's alright with having me around I can chat Gilbert O'Sullivan with him in the day That seal of approval to send me on my way Over time you made me much more discourageable That denied me the access to things that I was meant for Or something like that, anyway But that was then Corps de Blah blah blah Your petrified cry at ease The scents we smelt near oak trees As we smelt a strong sultry breeze Strong enough to cause narcosis What do I say? One admirable young man True to his intention, but not to his religion I don't want to alienate you With Milk Tray, flowers and frying pan piss-ups But there is an ever growing air of urban development in this town Which means there's an opportunity for us before the houses get pulled down You seem to inherently know best You seem to much prefer the rest And joke that I ride at the very crest Of indecisiveness and jest My thoughts are folly and fantasy But mirrored in you are parts of me Keep me close, hold me tight / kinky girls all the time We hypothetically party like its 1987 in this house Thank the lord for small gestures Thank the lord for second guesses A subservient smile on your face And Christ knows what I look like And I love that yellow dress That shows off your legs Keep me close, hold me tight / kinky girls all the time And I love that yellow dress That shows off your legs And I'm making it work But I'm not sure how I've done it And I know that there is definitely Room for a lot of improvement But although I am quite lonely It doesn't really surface, does it? But if it does, then I guess My covers blown, its excess But she's such a pretty girl But I'm far too juvenile To even approach the situation Like a person would But here I am, resigned I'm such a fatalist But there's still time for me to- To become a better person-ish

Don't know who I am I'm petrified that I might be a lot less Don't know who you are I'm scared you won't be served by my best guess I felt the same passionate impulse That got here where she currently is But all those people that I've never met twice Are the poor souls that took my advice And I assumed the reason, that you chose to conform Was that in reality, you were always torn Between two brim ideals (between two brim ideals) That were closing their doors (their closing their doors) But now I think not, you're wise enough Not to give before you're sure you've got Just look at last time, it was too late I'm sorry that I'm hard to interpret I told you straight I did Although I had no idea what I was saying I repeated it loudly and then Scrawled it on my forehead in a felt tip pen But you're wonderful, you are Something I couldn't better Although where it mattered then Perhaps it doesn't matter here Don't know who I am I'm petrified that I might be a lot less Don't know who you are I'm scared you won't be served by my best guess And all those people who I can't look in the eye Are the young fools that took my advice And all those people that I've never met twice Are the poor souls that took my advice All those people who I can't look in the eye Are the young fools that took my advice And all those people that I've never met twice Are the poor souls that took my advice I thank you for your time

As she glows on a dim backdrop That accentuates her dyes She says "I will not etch your name Into my study desk twice." Apparently, the prima facie Of the inchoate stage Is now the stuff of trivia, Of times unrealised The memories are traced out on their own My diffidence speaks louder when on the phone Plaintive questions to serious questions The airborne side of the tug of war winning And I've lost the remote reliability Now that I'm stranded in more formal security One state of affairs is tagging my name And the other state of affairs is tugging my weight [Own When on the phone Questions Winning Bility Formal security Tagging my name Tugging my weight] The memories are traced out on their own My diffidence speaks louder when on the phone Plaintive questions to serious questions The airborne side of the tug of war winning And I've lost the remote reliability Now that I'm stranded in more formal security One state of affairs is tagging my name And the other state of affairs is tugging my weight

Careening from the top story To the shuffle stye below She preached not to efface me But to merely let it flow With copper cut-outs to my left And paradigms to my right The subtlety of a sultry breeze In rooms they swore air-tight

[instrumental]

Embrace it at your best Ignore it at your worst Sounds simple enough If I had the nerve Embrace it at your best Ignore it at your worst Sounds simple enough If I had the nerve My escapism Trivial, unrealised My escapism Dwarfed to miniature size My escapism Sidetracked and minimised My escapism Drowning, sinking, capsized But I wouldn't know what it feels like I'm the voyeur looking in But I wouldn't know how I would act I am detached from my subject How I'd love to know what its about But I don't push myself to a whim And if there remains any doubt It remains time currently keeping me in Embrace it at your best Ignore it at your worst Sounds simple enough If I had the nerve Embrace it at your best Ignore it at your worst Sounds simple enough If I had the nerve I don't try and I don't dare I'm not convinced there's someone out there Or rather there's plenty scattered around But are we likely to be sharing the same crowd? Quiet implosion inside my mind Its no grandstand clatter of any kind I quietly collapse into my self While you observe the (hollow shell) I don't know why everyone cares It should be ancient history But they drag it into the light again Correlating the misery with me And I didn't do anything of note, honestly But that seems irrelevant now Their loss is public property And I remain a man down Don't know why everyone cares It should be ancient history But they drag it into the light again And correlate the misery with me I didn't do anything, honestly That seems irrelevant now Their loss is public property And I am a man down I'm not gonna deny it I'm not that insecure Though I veer close, from time to time I'm sure So I should best prepare myself, should my guard be caught down Don't want to feel like I'd drive myself out of town And I'm attracted to your vibrancy Your hedonistic ecstasy But its all very foreign to me I am the voyeur looking in I see where you're coming from I know its a fright But for me at least, It's quite the perfect delight I'm beginning to think that I've been had Either that or I've gone mad But I live in morbid fear Of those who know the answer But fantasy suits me fine So why should I leave it today?

Snuggle on the hillsides and comfiest carpets Tiny ambitions that we realise No digressions here, no opposition there The definition of intimate care Surroundings might disappear But you stay anchored here You always start dancing Under neon tubing You're a crossover success You speak two different mindsets And of both of those passions This is the dainty among them Let's minimise the words we use regularly Let's emphasis the silence that lies between Let the nuances unfold This way, things are more bold Let's minimise the words we use regularly Let's emphasis the silence that lies between Let the nuances unfold This way, things are more bold And I know you're shy like me, but won't you just hold my hand And sure I got so extreme That it transcended our dream Although anything less Would have failed your test And sure I got so extreme That it transcended our dream Although anything less Would have failed your test And sure I got so extreme That it transcended our dream Although anything less Would have failed your test Let's minimise the words we use regularly Let's emphasis the silence that lies between Let the nuances unfold This way, things are more bold

[lyrics written by Joseph James] Hey, I'll meet you in the daisy Wear your daisy chain I want the night to get hazy So I don't look the same To you, to you Yeah, my clothes are dirty Well, at least i'm not plain And you could say that I'm quirky But I'd probably say the same To you, to you, to you Where there's sticky dancefloors and dirty looks Lost my money and the jukebox is stuck You're my drug and I'm getting hooked on you On you, on you Well he looks a bit sneaky He's all dressed in white Keep going and he'll hit me But that's another Friday night To me, to me Now he's asked me to step outside He'd like to square up Well I've heard that he's pretty sly And I guess he's pretty tough I guess we'll see if he's crazy Just like the daisy Where there's sticky dancefloors and dirty looks Lost my money and the jukebox is stuck You're my drug and I'm getting hooked, on you On you, on you Where there's sticky dancefloors and dirty looks Lost my money and the jukebox is stuck You're my drug and I'm getting hooked on you On you, on you

What's gone wrong, a system malfunction Looks like you'd turn at the wrong junction Your feet sore and your wrists are aching Tension in the air is breaking You ripped open the body's brickwork And so its your fault you know where there lurks You want to revise the revisionists Your pen versus their's and the same audience This closed air feelings holds me suspended On it now, I'm wholly dependent And I don't know what's been said or done Or what will be next acted upon Reverent like a megalithic stone circle You speak so mannered and so formal So very left of centre Delightfully off-kilter Jettison that petty composure Yours lief as as any convert Subservient in my way of thinking Now wha...what we're doing You ripped open the body's brickwork And so its your fault you know where there lurks You ripped open the body's brickwork And so and so its your fault you know where there lurks You ripped open the body's brickwork And so its your fault you know where there lurks

Now come inside and lock the door The hour's growing late He walks through the street On a cold lonesome night A cross in one hand And a knife in his right Crucifying non-believers Is his daily chore Faint echoes in the night saying "Please. The hour's growing late."

[instrumental]

One wonders why you haven't been happy with your life You draw from the same sources that reward others with pride But your social goal is to forge an identity And for intimacy, libidinous temerity Well surely that's to cast aside, don't you think? All is at our disposal except the kitchen sink So take off your clothes and please put this on instead We best be in a right state for the big news ahead Its fun to personalise such things as this Or rather its natural at least from where I sit If truth needs proof, then proof's in practice The lattice steel framework, embeds all the niches I clap my hands in front of my mouth and speak to you And make sure every last idea is fed through To the point where they all push into the red The thoroughfare where you followed and I led A tried and tested manner but not by me, my dear From the tips of your toes to your ginger hair No other reservations exist here or anywhere The rendezvous is green-lit, so goes the savoir faire The niches sit neatly into the steel framework All these other things happening right here with us From top to the bottom a gorgeous attempt at love Perceived wisdom is one thing, but then there's us One wonders why you weren't ever happy with your life You drew from the same sources that reward others with pride But now lies secured an endlessly rewarding future The past is now history for a while, as now is here